[01 - Video] Arrival

[needsnobottle]

[The video flicks on and Tammy is blinking in confusion at the journal. At the sight of the video on the page her eyes widen.]

Oh shi-

[The feed cuts off abruptly.

Roughly twenty minutes later, the video starts again. This time she's clearly expecting it. And in the background you can see she's now outside.

Her tone drips sarcasm. It reeks of sarcasm. It is 100% homegrown, organic, unadulterated sarcasm. It's pretty easy to detect.]

Dear diary,

Today has been just swell. Waking up in a room I don't recognize is an adventure, and the note from a bearded guy who looks like he should be teaching Douchebaggery 101 only adds to the atmosphere of mystery. And finding out everyone I've ever known never existed, well. That was just peaches!

[And here Tammy shifts, so that one arm is wrapped around a pumpkin with an unfamiliar female face on it. She presses her cheek against it. She grins, but it's more like she's just trying to show you all her teeth.]

And hey! It's nice to know someone around here remembers what my roommate who I suppose was never my roommate looks like. If that's not enough to perk up a day, I don't know what is.

[Her grin drops, as does the sarcastic tone. Her expression is grim as she stares at the journal.]

How's that? About what you're looking for?

[The feed cuts off just as she snorts.]

{OOC: Feel free to either comment to the post or come across her outside. Tammy will be lingering around her roommate shaped pumpkin for a bit.}

Comments

[thenotmagician]

Rough day, eh?

[needsnobottle]

You could say that.

[thenotmagician]

Y'want some smiley fruit and pumpkin pie? It always helps me feel better when things aren't goin' all that great.

[needsnobottle]

...smiling fruit?

[thenotmagician]

No, no. Smiley fruit.

[needsnobottle]

And why is the fruit smiley?

[thenotmagician]

Well, y'see, when y'cut watermelon into triangular pieces and eat it down t'the rind, it leaves ya with a green smile.

Smiley fruit!

[Text]

[likesfootnotes]

Dear Sardonic Nobody, ¹

Welcome to the Keep, otherwise known as the land where dreams come true! ² Try not to slip on that dripping sarcasm, as it can cause quite a nasty stain.

Less-than-sincerely,
Your Diary

1 - Were you looking for something a little more embellished? That treatment is reserved for the more elegant, established folk - such as myself.

2 - This is a matter of interpretation, if you ask me. My interpretation runs in the positive, for there's a certain joy in the fact that I'm here and certain other parties are not.

[Text]

[needsnobottle]

Dear Diary,

I suspect you've been possessed. Or hacked.

Sucks, don't it?

No sympathy,
Tammy

P.S. Don't worry, my shoes have plenty of traction. Though I doubt you would have fretted that fact.

[Text]

[likesfootnotes]

Dear Sardonic Tammy,

You are entirely too misinformed to expect a spirit of my magnitude to be found possessing a mere transcription of inane teenage fantasies. An archaic tome, perhaps, or something writ in the blood of a thousand albino camels. But I wouldn't be caught sealed in glittery green penmanship.

I appreciate your attempt to solicit my friendship and goodwill by handing over your name, but it falls short. Might I suggest building a few temples to my honour and immortality? ³

Wittily,
Your Diary

3 - Avoid the tacky Mayan variety. Pure Egyptian architecture would do you far more favour. Though I doubt you could build one with the exquisite skill of yours truly.

[Text]

[needsnobottle]

Hey, Diary,

Why the hell would I build temples in honor of a book? Sure, that works for some people, but look where that gets them.

Or did you mean I should be constructing Egyptian pyramids for whoever is coyly posing as my diary? 'Cause if that's the case, how about no?

But rest assured my failure to solicit friendship will wound me greatly. I'll carry it with me forever. Right here.

Going to weep into my pumpkin,
Tammy

P.S. Build your own pyramid. I deal with enough ego.

[Text]

[likesfootnotes]

Dear Tammerella,

There are thousands of altars built for mere novels. ⁴ Whether the endeavour benefits you really isn't the question. This is about devoting yourself to what is obviously a higher being.

Avoid weeping too intimately with the pumpkin as it would be a shame if it bonked you on the head when it turned into a carriage at midnight. ⁵

Superiorily,
Your Diary

P.S. I've been there, done that, and wore the t-shirt while dancing around as a hippo. There's no point in doing it again when I could turn the tables and have a human do it for me.

4 - Christianity is the best example zealots prancing about the world's backyard and erecting churches by the dozen. You can also see the temple addiction in certain Asian cultures, a handful of pagan pursuits, and the followers of the sacred trend Hot Topic.

5 - Human sources claim that the fairytale goes the other way around, but we spirits, as usual, have the full story. In this case, the fair maiden was trying to steal a carriage and had a djinni put a shroud on it to make it look like a pumpkin. Silly girl had time-locked her summon and the smart fellow moved with all the speed of frozen molasses. Midnight came around and suddenly she was caught red-handed with a carriage when he disappeared. She fled , leaving a single shoe behind as evidence. The authorities caught her within a week and the only royalty Cinderella met with was the King's justice.

[Text]

[needsnobottle]

Diary,

That was kind of my point in saying that it worked for some people, but look where it got them. Christians are battle happy, Asian cultures have been co-opted by the terminally stupid, and Hot Topic basically just serves as evidence of this.

And please. If this pumpkin is going to turn into anything, it'll be the girl carved into it. Because that would be the logical result, right? I'll hold my breath for that.

Turning blue,
Tammy

P.S. Must've been a pretty big t-shirt, to fit on a hippo. Don't suppose I can find that video online, huh?

[Commentlog]

[mister10below]

[Right, so, with everything he's seen here, Bobby should know to be more cautious and to think things through. But when he spots her outside while he's wandering around looking at the pumpkins, all of that logical stuff just kind of falls away. Because it's Kitty.

And then he's grinning widely, jogging towards her.]

Kit!

[If she doesn't stop him, he's probably going to hug her.]

[Commentlog]

[needsnobottle]

[She glances toward him because, you know, someone's talking. Not because that's her name. Not that what he said even sounds like a name. Is he speaking English?]

Uh...

[She glances at her pumpkin. Maybe she misheard and he said 'kin' instead of 'kit'. But who says that?

And look at that, he's heading her way. But surely he'll stop before he gets too close. People are big on personal space.]

Hey.

[Commentlog]

[mister10below]

[Despite his initial reaction, he is paying attention enough to notice that she's...not at all reacting the way he'd expected. He slows, confused, and stops.

Though not before he's probably a little too into her personal space for a stranger.]

Kitty?

[Oh, god, please be Kitty.]

[Commentlog]

[needsnobottle]

[Yeeeaaaaaaah he's a bit closer than she'd like. So she's going to mack up a step--under the guise of looking at the ground in the immediate vicinity, because apparently this guy is looking for his cat.]

Sorry, I haven't seen any cats around here. How long's it been gone?

[Commentlog]

[mister10below]

[He realizes before she even replies that, no, this isn't Kitty. Or at least not a version of Kitty that knows him.

And even though he should've been expecting it, for a moment, he looks absolutely devastated. But it's gone quickly, replaced with an apologetic, slightly sad smile.]

No, I'm not - sorry. Kitty's...she's someone I knew. You just, really look a lot like her.

[Pretty much exactly like her.]

That, um, happens here sometimes. I'm sorry, I should know better. Did you just get here?

[Commentlog]

[needsnobottle]

[She catches that look, and it hits her hard. She's going to blame the fact that his devastation pretty much matches exactly how she feels right now. Were she the hugging friendly type, she'd offer him one.

Best she can offer, though, is a half-smile of her own.]

Don't worry about it. No harm and all. And for what it's worth, sorry I remind you of this girl you knew. That probably sucks.

And yeah, I just got here today. I'm Tammy.

[And hey, the offer of a handshake is kind of like a hug, right? Bobby should be honored, he's the only one she's offered it to, at any rate.]

[Video]

[agentknockknock.livejournal.com]

[Claudia has been laughing throughout most of that post. She'd waited to comment until it died down, but the amusement hasn't left her voice.]

You forgot to say something about that guy in homeroom that doesn't even know you exist. But yeah, I think that's what their looking for.

[Video]

[needsnobottle]

[When the video comes on Tammy is kind of leaning on her pumpkin; apparently she's propped the journal up against something.]

I had a nagging feeling I was forgetting something. And at this point I'm too full of pie to properly convey angsty melodramatic heartbreak.

But I'll make a note of it for next time.

[And way to go, Claudia, you're the second person to make her almost-smile!]

[Video]

[agentknockknock.livejournal.com]

There's your problem! Your supposed to pig out after the heart break talk. But don't worry there's time to practice.

[OOC: Claudia for the win!]

[Video]

[needsnobottle]

See, I think if I'd had an older sister, this is the kind of thing she would have taught me.

Man, the things I've missed out on.

[Video]

[agentknockknock.livejournal.com]

[She laughs.]

Looks like you'll have to learn it on the streets.

The internet would be better, but [She jerks her thumb toward the stone walls behind her.] castle.

[Video]

[needsnobottle]

That's fine, for every good piece of advice the internet generated there was roughly 476 billion pieces of bad advice to sift through. Least here the advice pool is smaller.